La Bullshit

I went to La Bou for lunch today because it is close, their sandwiches are decent and you could say it's reasonably priced. I don't get to La Bou too often because I usually bring my lunch so today was a treat. I had the La Bou Club and a small house salad with dill dressing. I asked the lady for a large dill dressing because the dill dressing at La Bou is amazing. I could eat just the dressing and a baguette for lunch and be content. Imagine my surprise when I got back to my desk at work and found a small- barely enough to wet my lettuce -  side of the dressing. I was livid because I must have said to the lady at the register at least four different times that I wanted a large dressing and of course, she didn't understand me. This failure to give me my large dressing allows me to ask the following: Why does La Bou, or any place of business for that matter, have people that can't pass a night school beginning English class working the front lines of customer service?

I understand that La Bou is owned by a Vietnamese immigrant and that she wants to lend a helping hand to her immigrant brethren by gainfully employing them, but for fuck's sake, do they have to be the ones taking my sandwich order!? The La Bou I frequent (11th and O) is probably the busiest one in town so you would think that communication with its customers would be of the highest priority to ensure that things run smoothly and timely. Instead, I am yelling, "large dill!" to a women who may or may not have been an extra in Full Metal Jacket and praying that I don't end up with a tuna fish sandwich on rye with a side of Asian noodle salad. It's fucking nerve wracking I tell ya'. Meanwhile, I see an English speaking person making coffees and shit in the back, casually chatting it up with another person who possesses a firm grasp on the English language who is pouring iced-tea into a pitcher. I wonder if  this is some kind of reverse racism or revenge plot by the owner; payback for something that happened during the war. Who fucking knows.

To its credit, La Bou has never really messed up an order of mine. They have added sprouts a few times when I said no sprouts, forgot to add mustard when I asked for it, given me Dijon when I asked for dill, charged me for cheese when there was none...on second thought, they have messed my order up and quite often. Disregard that opening sentence. 

I have decided to take action against La Bou by publishing the recipe to there dill dressing. Now you, the home chef, can make large batches as often as you like. You no longer have to worry about whether the amount of dill you have will be enough to cover the amount of lettuce on your salad or to dip your bread in. Enjoy and let me know how it comes out. 

1/4 package of Hidden Valley Ranch Buttermilk dressing mix.

1/4 cup of mayonnaise.

2 to 3 tablespoons of fresh dill.

Use water to thin (~1/4 cup).