Know Your Role...

Over the last several days, I have been watching the epic TV mini series Lonesome Dove starring Tommy Lee Jones and Bobby Duvall as two Texas Rangers making a cattle run from a small Texas border town up to Montana. The series is about all of the unexpectedness that happens along the way. Duvall and Jones are so good in this mini series that it got me thinking. Who are the greatest actors in certain roles?

This list is solely based on actors that I remember off the top of my head and therefore, this list is based on my opinion and probably sucks. Now, I realize that I don't really know much about anything, but movies are a subject with which I can hold my own. When you read this list, hopefully you will take a minute and then say to yourself, "You know what? I don't think I could imagine anyone else playing that role."

Well, here goes (the numbering serves no real purpose)...

1. Robert Duvall as Harry Hogge in Days of Thunder. "We're eatin' Ice Cream." What a sweet name for a NASCAR crew chief too.

2. Joe Pesci as Nicky Santoro in Casino. "You mudda fucka! Fuck my mudda!?" You could almost use his role in Goodfellas, but I just think he was so much more of an ass in this movie. Plus, his acting when they are beating his brother is legendary.

3. Ralph Macchio as Daniel LaRusso in The Karate Kid. "When do I learn how to punch?" I just can't see any other '80s actor in this role. Judd Nelson...nope. Andrew McCarthy...nah. John Cusack...yeah right.

4. Rosie Perez as Gloria Clemente in White Men Can't Jump. "What is a quince?" I am kidding. A Chihuahua getting shot over and over again with a BB gun would have been better in that role.

5. Laurenz Tate as O-Dog in Menace II Society. "Hey, you know what nigga? You actin' like a little bitch right now." I was legitimately scared of O-Dog when this movie came out. I thought I was going to get shot over a cheeseburger. Seriously...scared!

6. Silvester Stallone as Rocky Balboa in Rocky I-IV. "I guess what I am trying to say is, that if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!" Rocky V and Rocky Balboa were never made. Stallone wrote this movie and actually had to audition for it. Can you imagine if Burt Reynolds would have gotten the lead in this film like the studio wanted?

7. Martin Sheen as Captain Willard in Apocalypse Now. "The bullshit piled up so fast in Vietnam that you needed wings to stay above it." I think the reason I liked him so much in this movie was not so much for his acting, but more for his raspy voice narrating the film.

8. Al Pacino as Michael Corleone in The Godfather I-II. "You think I'd make my sister a widow?" I know, I know. Pretty obvious and one could make a case for Brando, but the way Pacino portrays Mike's transformation from good to evil is one for the ages.

9. Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels as Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne in Dumb and Dumber. "The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson I got this old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her." Who the fuck could have pulled these roles off besides these two? I didn't even know Daniels was funny until this movie came out. I think I have seen it over 150 times.

10. Bruce Willis as John McClane in Diehard. "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker." Can you see anyone else, dead or alive, delivering that line? I cannot.

11. Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump in Forrest Gump. "Mama says they was magic shoes." I saw this movie six times in the theatre the summer it came out and it wasn't because of Sally Field, Robin Wright Penn, or Gary Sinese.

12. Paul Newman as Luke in Cool Hand Luke. "Small town, not much to do this eveninin." I think this role was almost too easy for Newman. He was the coolest dude on the planet when it was made and it just kind of carried over into his role as the coolest dude in the prison camp. George Kennedy actually got the Oscar for his role in the film, which was also amazing.

13. Sam Jackson as Jules Winnfield in Pulp Fiction. "'What' ain't know country I've ever heard of. They speak English in What?" I am not a fan of Sam Jackson as I think he just kind of took his role in this movie and cloned it for every one of his roles after it, but can you imagine this movie if, say, Denzel Washington had played Jules. Wouldn't work.

14. Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones in Indian Jones and the everyone one except the last one. "I'm like a bad penny, I always turn up." I bet you didn't know that Tom Selleck was supposed to be Inidana Jones because George Lucas didn't want Ford to become his Robert Deniro. I knew the Selleck thing, but read that last bit on Wikipedia.

15. Mark Wahlberg as Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights. "Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel my heat." I think that Marky's lack of acting skills helped in this role. He played an idiot so well and I didn't even know he could talk like he did for this film. Funny thing is, he talks the exact same in the M. Knight Shamalsaaaastyyawenasmd movie The Happening. It's almost as if Mark thought he was filming Boogie Nights II: The Internet Rocks and rehearsed for another part as Dirk until the day he walked on set and realized he was in a sci-fi flick about killer plants.

My brain hurts, but before I go I have a question for you. Do you notice something about the above list? Answer: There are no women on it. That is because I couldn't think of one stand-out role played by a woman that made me say to myself, "Man, I can't see anyone but her playing that role. She really brought out my emotions." I suppose when it comes to memorable roles, women are kind of like legos. Sure, they come in all different colors, but no matter what color the block is, it'll still work to put it together. Therefore, I would like to here from some women on who I am missing. Bette Midler in Beaches? Maryl Streep in Out of Africa? Pam Anderson in Barbed Wire? I am curious!